This post is dedicated to my father, Dale English. RIP, Dad December 12, 1948 – May 12, 2016.
I knew when my dad died that I’d miss him every day, but no one is ever prepared for the feeling of emptiness and having the urge to pick up a phone and call that loved one. My dad and I weren’t super close, but he was still my dad and I know he loved me with all his heart.
I feel this urge to speak with him daily and sometimes it’s hard to bear, but at the same time, I’m capable of pushing through it and coming out okay. His death changed my world and the path I was on in life. My emotions are on a whole new level now and sometimes the simplest thing can trigger a tear(s). My dad was very sick when he died and my brother and I spoke on a couple occasions thinking this was going to be easy to deal with since we felt somewhat prepared, but we were completely wrong. We are both still in a form of shock knowing he is no longer with us and that feeling is permanent. I imagine the feeling resembles someone that lost a limb and still feels that part of their body? I still feel like Dad is alive on this planet when my brain feels the need to make contact with him.
Dad left me a gift when he died and it’s not some materialistic item that had great importance to him. Instead, he left me the sense of wonder and he left me questions that I needed to answer about my own existence and where my soul was headed. Up to this point, you all know that I’m a minimalist and that I live a positive lifestyle, but I have my father to thank for this life now. I pretty much gave my life a much-needed reboot and I can honestly tell you the reboot is much better than the original! I’ve had a couple friends tell me I’m not the same Jeff since returning to Galveston and they are 100% correct. I’m no longer the Jeff that got angry with the slightest upset or the Jeff that bought random crap time after time in hopes of feeling happy. Now I’m someone looking at the present and enjoying life the way it’s meant to be lived on my end; I look at something negative and do my best to spin it in a positive direction.
Life is always going to be surprising, even when you’re expecting something and think you’re prepared. As humans, we try our best to prepare ourselves for any event but no preparation will ever truly prepare us for the death of a loved one. I wish all of you a merry and happy holiday! Also, instead of indulging in these holiday sales, try spending on the homeless or donate to an amazing cause.
Minimalist of Galveston Isle.